In Part 1, I wrote about the year I spent replacing “no” with something that actually landed — starting with a room full of toddlers discovering, mid-laugh, that they couldn’t stop thinking about an elephant the second I told them not to.
This part is the practical half. No story, no research — just the swaps themselves, the ones I actually reach for in my Pre-Kindy room, all in one place. There’s a printable poster near the bottom, and if fifty isn’t quite enough for you (it’s never quite enough for me, either — toddlers keep finding new furniture to test), I’ve sorted fifty more into a master list I’ll send you directly.
A note on how these work: the tone matters as much as the words. Said in a flat, tired voice, “walking feet” is just “no running” with extra syllables. Said warmly, paired with a smile or a hand gently on a shoulder, it gives a child a picture to walk toward instead of one to stop.
| Instead of… | Try… |
|---|---|
| “No running!” | “Walking feet, please.” |
| “No hitting!” | “Gentle hands.” |
| “No pushing!” | “Give your friend some space.” / “Soft touches.” |
| “No snatching!” | “Ask for a turn.” / “Waiting hands.” |
| “No shouting!” | “Inside voice, please.” |
| “No throwing!” | “Toys stay on the floor.” / “You can roll it.” |
| “No climbing!” | “Feet on the floor.” |
| “No biting!” | “Teeth are for chewing food.” |
| “Don’t kick!” | “Keep your feet to yourself.” / “Gentle feet.” |
| “Don’t touch!” | “Hands by your side.” / “You can look with your eyes.” |
| “Don’t break it!” | “Let’s keep it safe.” / “Use gentle hands with it.” |
| “Don’t knock it down!” | “Let’s keep their building standing.” |
| “Don’t take their toy!” | “Ask, ‘Can I have a turn?’” |
| “You have to share!” | “Your turn is coming.” / “Let’s take turns.” |
| “Stop fighting!” | “Use your words.” / “Let’s work it out together.” |
| “Don’t scream!” | “Tell me with your words.” / “Use a calm voice.” |
| “Stop crying!” | “It’s okay to feel upset. I’m here.” |
| “Don’t make a mess!” | “Let’s keep it in the tray.” |
| “Stop spilling it!” | “Carry it with two hands.” |
| “Don’t tip it out!” | “Keep it in the container.” |
| “Don’t stand on the chair!” | “Bottom on the chair, please.” |
| “Don’t run inside!” | “You can run outside. We walk inside.” |
| “Don’t go there!” | “Stay where I can see you.” / “Come back to this area.” |
| “Don’t run away!” | “Stay close to me.” |
| “Don’t play with your food!” | “Food stays on your plate.” |
| “Don’t throw your food!” | “Food stays on the table.” |
| “Don’t climb on the table!” | “Feet on the floor. Tables are for our activities.” |
| “Stop splashing!” | “Keep the water in the tub.” |
| “Don’t grab!” | “Show me your waiting hands.” / “Ask first.” |
| “Don’t interrupt!” | “Wait until your friend has finished.” |
| “Don’t all talk at once!” | “One voice at a time.” |
| “Stop touching your friend!” | “Give your friend some space.” |
| “Don’t put that in your mouth!” | “Keep it in your hands.” |
| “Don’t draw on the table!” | “Drawing stays on the paper.” |
| “Don’t throw sand!” | “Sand stays low.” / “Sand stays in the sandpit.” |
| “Don’t pour sand on your friend!” | “Pour the sand into the bucket.” |
| “Don’t splash your friend!” | “Keep the water low.” |
| “Stop banging!” | “Use gentle taps.” |
| “Don’t slam the door!” | “Close the door gently.” |
| “Don’t leave it there!” | “Put it back where it belongs.” |
| “Don’t just walk away!” | “Let’s pack away before we choose something else.” |
| “You need to listen!” | “Eyes looking, ears listening.” |
| “Stop being silly!” | “Show me you’re ready.” |
| “Hurry up!” | “It’s time to get ready. What do you need first?” |
| “You can’t have it!” | “It’s being used right now. You can have a turn when they’re finished.” |
| “Don’t say that!” | “Let’s use kind words.” |
| “That’s not nice!” | “How do you think your friend felt?” / “Let’s find a kinder way to say it.” |
| “Don’t leave your friend out!” | “How could we make space for them to join?” |
| “Don’t be rough!” | “Use a gentle body.” |
| “Calm down!” | “I’m here. Let’s take a breath together.” |
A few of these took longer to feel natural than others — “gentle hands” came easily, but I still catch myself starting with “don’t push” before I get to “soft touches.” That’s fine. The point was never to be perfect at it by next Tuesday; it was to notice the “no” often enough to reach for something else instead.
The poster
I’ve turned my favourites from this list into a one-page poster, sized to print at home or at school (portrait, standard letter/A4-friendly). Save it, print it, and put it wherever you find yourself saying these sentences the most — for me, that’s the door to the block corner.
[Poster download — free, no email needed]
Want the full 100 “Instead Of” list?
The fifty above are the ones I reach for most, but of course, the list didn’t stop there. Toddlers keep finding new things to climb on, pour out, throw, carry, tip over, and test — so I kept adding to it.
I’ve put the full 100 together in a printable reference sheet, organised by the moments that actually come up in a Pre-Kindy day — from mealtimes and messy play to the art table, outdoor play, rest time, and everything in between.
It’s designed for those moments when “Don’t…” is already halfway out of your mouth and you just need another phrase to reach for.
Drop your email below and I’ll send the full list straight to your inbox.
[Email signup — “Send me the full 100”]
I’ll be back soon with more from the Pre-Kindy room. Until then, let me know in the comments which one you’re trying first.